The Birds were awful on Monday night, splattering the proverbial windshield of Philadelphia with a barrage of white goop as the Cowboys had their way with the Eagles in prime time. You’re welcome for the imagery.

The good news is, that game is in the rear view mirror. The bad news is that you just finally got your windshield cleaned off and now in front of you are Patrick Mahomes, Tyreek Hill, and the Kansas City Chiefs. Hoo boy.

John was the winner for Week 3, so he’ll go first here in Week 4.

John (1-2-0): Unlike my compatriot, I gave the rookie head coach the benefit of the doubt. I had my inklings, but I wanted to give the wunderkind a chance. It’s only fair…it was also a mistake.  Fairness would give Miles Sanders more than two carries on Monday Night Football.

More than the double bird Eli Manning flipped on national television, that game plan was the biggest “F&!? youse” to Eagles fans. It also has to be the lowest point of Nick Sirianni’s coaching career. If not, he won’t last beyond Week Five of the 2022 season.

Coaches are human. They make mistakes. What happened in Dallas proved that Sirianni is in over his head. He seems like a fine human being and solid coach… but he isn’t ready to be a leader of men. That leadership quality is the same kind of thing that Doug Pederson had from the get-go. He just looked like a head coach. Which is why the Eagles are going to get their butts kicked on Sunday. They are playing the ex-best head coach in Eagles history.

Andy Reid always had it. He didn’t give a crap about quotes. Or t-shirts. He just won games. He is a true head coach in every sense of the term. He isn’t worried about being anyone’s friend. He gets his guys to perform on Sunday without the BS. It’s something that can’t be quantified, but just happens.

So what does this mean for our Quick Picks™? I am assuming Joe is also picking KC to win. It’s just a matter of which picks the correct margin of loss. Chiefs 41, Eagles 20.

Offensive Standout: Clyde Edwards-Helaire

Defensive Standout: Nick Bolton

Joe (2-1-0): Look, I didn’t hear any discussion over who won last week on any pod episode, so I’m not so sure I should just arbitrarily be handed an L here. Just saying.

The Eagles weren’t handed an L on Monday night, either. They were beaten over the head with it, hit in the gut with it, tripped up with it, and then had it left there for them to pick up on their own afterward. It was an ugly game is what I’m trying to say.

Good teams bounce back from humiliation. Bad teams sometimes do as well. But this is a team whose quarterback can’t make NFL-caliber throws, whose offensive line is once again being racked with injuries, and whose head coach is closer to a television character version of a high school football coach embattled by rumors of an affair with the young new English teacher than an actual professional football coach.

And coming to town on Sunday are the Kansas City Chiefs, wounded birds in their own right, led by the man who put the Eagles franchise back on the map, Andy Reid. This is a recipe for an absolute bloodbath.

::Joe Conklin voice:: “Hey uh, did someone say “recipe?” The Colonel’s original recipe? Time’s yours while I eat this chicken.”

Anyway, the Chiefs have lost two in a row to the Ravens and the Chargers, and a game against this Eagles team, coming off Monday night’s debacle on short rest, is just what the doctor ordered. That same doctor should then leave a pile of business cards in the Eagles locker room, because they’re going to need one.

Good teams bounce back from humiliation. The Chiefs are a good team, with a great coach, and also the most electric player in football in Patrick Mahomes. They are going to violate a number of different endangered species acts on Sunday. Andy will have plenty of time to properly hydrate, and Jalen Hurts can spend the fourth quarter calling around for a plumber, what with all the games he’s going to be flushing in the coming weeks. Chiefs 44, Eagles 10.

Offensive Standout: Travis Kelce

Defensive Standout: Tyrann Mathieu